Chicago, the home of gangsters like Al Capone and Bill Ayers, is also the latest hometown of Barack Hussein Obama. Add to that the fact Obama is a self-admitted gun banner, Chicago with its extreme gun prohibitions and controls, had another peaceful day with the sun shining down from above.
In one six-hour period of time the following happened:
- 3 men killed by gunfire
- 1 man killed by a knife
- 7 people wounded by gunfire
- 1 person shot by police
This data yields some interesting statistics:
- 25% of the people killed in Chicago were stabbed by another person.
- 75% of the people killed in Chicago were shot by another person.
- 0% of the people were killed by knives or firearms; people performed the murders.
- 72% of the shots fired in Chicago missed the center of body mass and therefore are examples of bad shooting.
- 100% of the stabbings were fatal.
- 100% of police shootings did not stop the perp dead cold.
When in Chicago remember these important travel trips:
- If someone attempts to rob you and brandishes a gun, you stand about a 3 in 4 chance of escaping completely unharmed.
- If someone attempts to rob you and brandishes a knife, do everything they say as the mortality rate in Chicago for stabbings is 100%.
- If you are doing something bad that the police have to shoot you, you will not be killed.
- Data for police total misses is unavailable, so commit crimes at your own risk.
- If you want to commit crimes and get away with it, become a politician. Mr. Ayers will fund your campaign if you are enough of a criminal or terrorist.
Important Gun Control tips:
- Since guns are already just about outlawed, you can see that does not work.
- The city founders need to collect all the kitchen knives, since they appear to have a 100% kill rate vs. a 25% rate for criminals wielding firearms.
- A one-day Eddie Eagle course should be mandatory for every year in school.
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